Feb 29: +13 Have you leapt today?

No leaping here, but a day closer to the upturn of my new, little soldiers of the marrow. 

 The Exit™ was especially challenging this morning at 0200. I tapped out and got Tramadol and an ice pack for The Exit™. I can, but also can't imagine being martyred at the stake, if that makes sense.  

Waiting patiently/impatiently for today's WBC numbers. 

Oh Lord God in heaven, 

Be Thou my soul’s Shelter, be Thou my strong Tow’r, O raise Thou me heav’nward, great Pow’r of my pow’r.  

You are our refuge, our shelter, our very present help in time of trouble. Whom shall we fear? Why should we fear? Only you are to be revered. Jesus, help our unbelief. Draw us to yourself by the power of Your Holy Spirit.

God be praised, Amen

Feb 28: +12 Wait, day what?

 The agony of slow and steady waiting for the next day, then the next day. 

The Exit™ continues to be a painful challenge. Frequent applications of 5% Lidocaine and something called ProctoFoam (don't ask) is my best strategy so far. 

+15 will be Friday, but I expect that to be the first day of measurable increase. Probably will take another 1-2+ days to get to an acceptable level to leave. My hope is Monday, but sooner would be wunderbar. 

Peace and joy with love be yours in full measure today, 

Gary

Feb 26: +10 The GI

The GI Tract, gastro-intestinal. From your lips to your "exit."

It's lined with rapidly dividing cells and constantly being repaired/replaced. Chemo did a major number on that back -3 thru +3 days. Now the fallout. I thought I might have dodged the mouth sores, but no. I have a sore developing on the back of my throat. My Exit is a source of many challenging pains. In between are some rumblings. They have lots of strategies to cope - Pepcid for the stomach, special mouth rinses to try and protect the mouth and upper throat lining, but they come. 

Part of what makes this whole is not only cells able to divide and be replaced, but worker WBCs that work to repair it all. 

So that's where I'm at. Hopefully, around day 15, things will start to kick in and the WBC count will start to climb. Right now, I'm at <0.1 for WBC's. Normal is 4.5-10k for adults. 

No great corollary insights today. Closest I got is we all gotta work together to make it all work in our families, neighborhoods, communities, etc. No one person can do it all. 

I Corinthians 12:21-26 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

May grace and mercy be yours in full measure today.

Gary

PS. Another surprise benefit. it's easy to pluck your eyebrows when you can just pull them out by the handfuls. 

Feb 25, 2024: +9 IV's and the long, flat valley

 The long flat valley of no WBCs. But, in the distance, maybe in 6-12 days, the promise and hope of a beautiful peak with new, healthy WBCs. 

IV's, I gots 'em. 

This was when I was getting a platelet infusion yesterday. 

No deep thoughts today. I'll leave you with this. 

Jude 24, 25

Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and 

to present you blameless before the presence of 

his glory with great joy, 

to the only God, our Savior, 

through Jesus Christ our Lord, 

be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.

PS - head shave day as the hair was coming out in clumps. Back to the Telly Savalas look. 

Feb 24: +8 days and pills

 It's been a rough couple of days. I do feel better this morning, so hopefully a better day. The fatigue yesterday was horrible. And, it seems I was fighting some infeciton. Fever, horrible chills. 

This process I think is powered by pills. And, I used to not have a problem taking pills, that is until now. I used to take two or three pills at a time without any qualms. Now I have started balking even with just one pill. I think I figured out and retraining myself to take pills again with the aid of a water bottle. You may use that trick already - reforms the shape of your mouth so to help the pill go down easier when you drink from a water bottle with a narrow opening.

One day's worth of pills. At home, I take 2 pills/day. 

  

  

+8 days on the transplant. I'm guessing there will be some ups and downs until the WBC starts to trend up again around +15. 

Metaphorically, I think some people live lives with lots of "pills." They could be actually pills, activities, distractions, etc. Anything to not face the real issue of life. When I believed, put my faith and hope in Jesus, I got rid of my "pills," because He cured me with His touch. 

Blessings on your day,

Feb 19: +3 Cytoxan

 This is not a fun recreational drug. 

Cytoxan

2 days of this is what leads to mouth/GI sores, nausea, diarrhea, and fatigue in almost all cases fro 10-14 days until WBC count starts to come back up. The treatment team does all they can to mitigate those symptoms. 

Go Bone Marrow!

Feb 18: Untethered!

 Untethered! 

Since I don't have any infusions or transfusions scheduled until Monday, they unhooked the IV from my PICC yesterday. I'm "untethered" from the IV pole. I still hesitate when I get up to move about, not wanting to jerk the tethered IV line to my PICC. The "ghost" continues to follow me some. 

In a similar fashion, Christians sometimes allow themselves to be tethered to their old self, attempting to follow a set of rules that they believe makes them right with God. But Jesus fulfilled the "Law" completely and imparts His right standing with God the Father to us that believe and trust in what Jesus did for those He loves. We obey because we love Him, who first loved us. 

Galatians 5:1 tells us Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.

What are Christian Beliefs?

I hope your day is blessed with the peace of Christ that comes from being in Christ, the freedom of Christ.