Mar 23: The Gray Unknown

 The Gray Unkown

Seven and a half months post-transplant, I thought I was good on the leukemia front. I went from being physically good to here we go again. 

As my Blincyto treatment routine nears its end, the future is much more of a gray wall of unknown, like looking at a storm cloud bank. I have one more week of my 4 x 28 day infusion treatments broken up by 2 week breaks. After my infusion finishes next Thursday, I'll take a couple of week break, then they'll do a bone marrow biopsy to try to get a read on the front line of my bone marrow. My WBC counts are decent as are my overall blood counts. 

Blinatumomab Extends Life for People with ALL in Remission - NCI

I can't see beyond that gray wall, but God has given me the faith to trust Him that beyond that gray wall is an eternity of goodness, of living in the love and presence of Jesus. I might have to run the windshield wipers on high to get through that storm cloud, but there's sunshine on the other side. 

Revelation 21 

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared. And the sea was also gone. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.

heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” And he also said, “It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega—the Beginning and the End. To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of life. All who are victorious will inherit all these blessings, and I will be their God, and they will be my children.

Do you know Him, the Alpha and the Omega. Do you trust Him? 

Feb 27 Grateful Check

 I have a lot to be grateful for. 

• 18 months since first diagnosed and doing fairly well. 
• No sign of blasts (cancer cells) and all my white blood cells are from my donor bone marrow. 
• Started what should be my last of 4, 28-day round of Blincyto treatment today. 
• Grateful for the medical minds God has empowered to create treatments like Blincyto and for a portable infusion pump that allows me to be at home, rather than in the hospital for 28 days.
• A faithful wife who has endured all this with patience & grace. 
• Friends who have prayed for me.
• A God who loves me (and you.

May God bless you all today in the Grace and Love of Jesus Christ.

Jan 13: Third round, 28 days

So the good news is my appendectomy is mostly healed up. Still on a weight restriction. 

Today is the start of round 3 of my 28-day cycle of Blyncito so my infusion buddy, aka pump, is hanging around with me for the next 28 days. I'll return weekly to get my pump recharged for another weekly dose till I hit the 28th day. Then I get a 2-week reprieve. Then the fourth round again The restart is longer because they kick it off with a dose of IV dexamethazone. 

Otherwise I'm feeling good. Body is working pretty good. Starting to take walks again for exercise. Grateful and blessed. 

May you be blessed by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Dec 23: 1 day Post Appendectomy

Well I know it's been a while. Things were going pretty smooth on Blincyto and then Saturday came. Had this odd intestinal cramping pain on my right side, but wasn't horrible at all and then I started running a low-grade temp Saturday about 5:00 p.m. Called the doc and he had me come into the oncology ER where the conclusion was I had appendicitis. 

Oh yay.

Yesterday, for my birthday I had my appendix taken out. Back at the same hospital I was born at oh so many years ago. They did it laparoscopically which I was very grateful for. 

Post-op hasn't been too bad, as long as I don't cough or sneeze. Even that's not been horrible. Grateful for the surgical team skill and God's guiding hand in it all. 

God bless you all this Christmas season, remembering the God the Son, who came to Earth in the form of a baby, humbled himself for our sake to make us right with God in the end, for those that believe in him, the Messiah the Christ. 

Grace be upon you all, 

Gary

Dec 8: Big News - Blincyto a New Major Treatment

Consider donating to LLS.org (Leukemia & Lymphoma Society)They provide a variety of services to blood cancer patients. 

Here's a comprehensive PDF on leukemia from LLS.org. 

Overall Survival is significant when Blincyto and Sprycel is part of a long-term treatment plan. Long-term studies of multi-cycle Blincyto treatments have been very positive. 

Grace be upon you and yours,

Gary

 

Nov 30: Today vs Tomorrow

Today vs Tomorrow

Where do you live? Past, Present, Future? 

We've probably all met someone that lives firmly in the past, reliving past glories when times were a better time of life for them. There are definitely some good memories for me in the past - "glory days" if you will. Recognition & achievements, but I promise not to digress and flip out my 10G Photo album to regale you with pics.

What brought this brain thread to mind for me today was Today vs Tomorrow - living in the present vs hoping for the future. 

Worrying About Today

Here's some thoughts from Jesus. After talking about heart attitudes in chapter 5 of Matthew and the beginning of chapter 6, he transitions into an interesting discourse on treasure. Here's some of what He has to say (edited for space. I always urge you to go read His words starting a chapter before and after any quoted passage.)

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth ... But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

“Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? .... Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  ... will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ... But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 

Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Hope for Tomorrow

Lamentations 3 

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore, I will wait for him.”

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks Him;

It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

And almost at the end of the Bible, if your hope and trust are in the work of Jesus Christ for your salvation, then, 

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be His people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. He, aka Jesus, who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” ... He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. 

Back to the Past

The big deal about Christmas, the birth of Jesus, the Christ, is that God became Flesh, e.g. Incarnate. Emmanuel - God with us. 

Blessing and grace to you and yours this Advent season.

Gary

Nov 20: The Gray Layer of Life

Too dark? Do I get the one-year warranty or the lifetime warranty, or are they the same thing? 

The gray layer of life - like a never-ending Portland, OR layer of cloud cover over your life. What's that look like? 

• Maintaining a 4x a day pill regimen
• My Infusion Buddy fanny pack always at my side, at least for the next 2 weeks. 
• Pain is not if, but how much. The 1-10 Pain Scale is familiar territory. 
• Always having to check any future plans against your calendar because you cannot remember the weekly doc appts. 
• Juggling pain relief vs pain reliever consequences. 
• Fatigue is not if, but how much. 

Please don't get me wrong. There are things God shows you in this battle - about Himself and yourself and your relationship with Him that are beautiful and faith-inspiring, but it IS a battle. For in spite of it all, He IS my joy, He IS my rock, He IS my very present help in my gray layer of life. 

If you're reading this and have doubts about who God is or would like to explore the whole faith question, I'd love to have a convo with at your favorite beverage joint or just simply over the phone. 

His grace is on me. John 3:16-18

God's grace be upon you all today!