Nov 9: A Long Road Traveled

 Hello friends and family,

It's been a minute since I shared. My journey started over 2 years ago in August 2023. I did enjoy an 8-month respite after my stem cell transplant. However, I confess that I am weary of the daily pain management related to my GI tract, damaged from the chemo. My immune system numbers are still low but climbing ever so slowly. My WBC count is 2.1. It was 1.3 3 weeks ago. 4.0 is the bottom of the normal range. My GI tract healed after my stem cell transplant when my WBC count got to 3.5-4. I know others have struggled with pain; some for 5, 10 even 20 years. Pray for your friends with pain battles. We need your prayers. Let us all who struggle draw near to Him. Our struggle is not without purpose. Still, it is a struggle. 

2 Corinthians 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. 6 If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. 

In addition, I've been diagnosed with bullous pemhigoid, a skin auto-immune disease. My case has been relatively minor with itching and blisters on my arm and leg extremities, and a small bother in comparison to the leukemia battle, but still a bother. 

This is the level of faith I aspire to - like that of the young Hebrew followers of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in Daniel 3:8.

But if God does not save us from your hand, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” 

This world is broken, our bodies are broken, our relationships broken, but His love for us is unbroken. 

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. 

Grace and Mercy be yours today from the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Sep 26: Optimism

My Doctor is optimistic about CAR-T success. What is that optimism level for my doctor? 50-50% I would hope for more, like 90-10%. But, again, God is not bound by statistics. He is God. His plan is perfect; His plan is good. I am hopeful in His good graces. 

There's been challenges of pain, strength, Hopefully, this is a new phase with less pain. 

Grace and mercy be yours in full measure today,

G

Sep 1: Looking back; looking forward

2 Years ago, I didn't know what the next step was going to be, except what was immediately in front of me - multiple rounds of chem to knock back the leukemia. Like those imperfect saints in the Bible, your faith gets tested, strengthened, refined - eliminating the dross. I tend to think of it more like a blacksmith refining a fine blade - heated and reheated, beaten and folded into what can become an amazing blade. In the middle of that, you just have a lump of glowing red steel. 

As somber as the battle was 2 years ago, today, it feels more challenging today in some ways. There's not a lot of options beyond CAR-T at this point. But God... All along this twisty journey, it's always been God and His perfect and good plan. Maybe you're asking, "How can you say that, especially if your life ends soon?" Well, because my end is not in this world, but the eternal promise from Him that comes through faith in Jesus Christ. It always boils down to faith. Many choose to be their own god, even though they'd never admit to that. The object of their faith is ultimately in themselves. Faith always has an object and for me, it's faith IN Jesus Christ. 

I would ask you to pray for me, my faith, and His healing hand in all this. Pray my faith will not waiver, no matter what happens in the next weeks & months. I pray He would receive the glory in my walk of faith in this time. 

His Grace and Mercy be upon you and yours today. 

Aug 26: One Day at a Time

It has been a one day at a time journey since I got released from the hospital a month ago. 

Tough. 

I just now feel like I'm starting to climb out of the hole. Sometime this coming week, I'll get kicked back into the hole with a 3 day round of chemo for CAR-T. Hopefully the last cheno I'll ever have to experience again in this lifetime. 2 more rounds of dry heaves this morning to top it off. Hopefully, no more today. 

Please pray that CAR-T would be effective and successful. 

Grace be upon you all today. 

Aug 1: At home - yea!

 Tough ten days to get to here. Was all about the immune system recovery. An IV Antibody doesn't replace what the body does in the immune system. 

What are the types of white blood cells?

There are five types of white blood cells:

• Neutrophils: Help protect your body from infections by killing bacteria, fungi and foreign debris.
• Lymphocytes: Consist of T cells, natural killer cells and B cells to protect against viral infections and produce proteins to help you fight infection (antibodies).
• Eosinophils: Identify and destroy parasites, cancer cells and assists basophils with your allergic response.
• Basophils: Produce an allergic response like coughing, sneezing or a runny nose.
• Monocytes: Defend against infection by cleaning up damaged cells.++

The last 12" is the toughest and most critical for "going" comfort. When my white cells jumped up to half normal, I started healing that last part of the GI Tract. 

The GI tract is lined by various cell types, primarily epithelial cells, which play crucial roles in absorption and secretion. Key cell types include:

• Enterocytes: Predominant in the small intestine, these cells are specialized for nutrient absorption and have microvilli for increased surface area. 

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• Goblet cells: These mucous cells secrete mucus to protect the GI tract and trap pathogens. 

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• Paneth cells: Located in the ileum, these cells are involved in immune regulation and inflammation. 

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• Enteroendocrine cells: These cells secrete hormones like serotonin and gastrin, regulating gut motility and secretion. 

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• Tuft cells: These cells secrete mucus and are part of the immune response against pathogens. 

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  These cells work together to form a protective barrier that allows nutrient absorption while preventing harmful substances from entering the body. 

Blessings upon you all today. He loves you. He died for you. 

Jul 20 - A Very Hard Journey

 This journey, it's hard. Very hard. 

Constantly tied to an IV pole. Cycles of pain from 4 to 9, living a lot in the 7 and 8 zone. Asking God for healing and relief, Body functions not working used to having to manage Constipation and even at the best, still very painful movements. Living in the confusion of pain meds that  ,   clouds you're thinking makes it hard to have cohesive thoughts.

Living an exposed life, No privacy no modesty. Wanting to just be kind of normal again,

Really gives me pause for thought. Thinking about Martyrs in Nigeria and other places today and what they go through standing for their faith. I'm not standing for my faith. I'm just enduring pain. They face tough choices,

Blessings to you today.

Jul 9: The Dark Nights

 It has been a dark night of the soul this week.

My mouth pain (a sore at the base of my tongue) and "exit" pain at the other end of my GI tract has 3 and a 9.5 on the 10-point pain scale. The pain is grinding. Started losing my hair on Monday. My whole face is basically almost like a bad sunburn. Sleep at best has been fretful, even with Oxycodone. 

How do I deal with this pain? I see no end in sight. 

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18

... not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. Romans 8:23

Jesus is there with me. He suffered as man suffered, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Gentle and lowly is He who loves us and shows us mercy & grace wrapped up in His complete love. 

I hurt, but do not lose hope.

His grace be upon you all today, for He is God!

Gary