Sep 26: Optimism

My Doctor is optimistic about CAR-T success. What is that optimism level for my doctor? 50-50% I would hope for more, like 90-10%. But, again, God is not bound by statistics. He is God. His plan is perfect; His plan is good. I am hopeful in His good graces. 

There's been challenges of pain, strength, Hopefully, this is a new phase with less pain. 

Grace and mercy be yours in full measure today,

G

Sep 1: Looking back; looking forward

2 Years ago, I didn't know what the next step was going to be, except what was immediately in front of me - multiple rounds of chem to knock back the leukemia. Like those imperfect saints in the Bible, your faith gets tested, strengthened, refined - eliminating the dross. I tend to think of it more like a blacksmith refining a fine blade - heated and reheated, beaten and folded into what can become an amazing blade. In the middle of that, you just have a lump of glowing red steel. 

As somber as the battle was 2 years ago, today, it feels more challenging today in some ways. There's not a lot of options beyond CAR-T at this point. But God... All along this twisty journey, it's always been God and His perfect and good plan. Maybe you're asking, "How can you say that, especially if your life ends soon?" Well, because my end is not in this world, but the eternal promise from Him that comes through faith in Jesus Christ. It always boils down to faith. Many choose to be their own god, even though they'd never admit to that. The object of their faith is ultimately in themselves. Faith always has an object and for me, it's faith IN Jesus Christ. 

I would ask you to pray for me, my faith, and His healing hand in all this. Pray my faith will not waiver, no matter what happens in the next weeks & months. I pray He would receive the glory in my walk of faith in this time. 

His Grace and Mercy be upon you and yours today. 

Aug 26: One Day at a Time

It has been a one day at a time journey since I got released from the hospital a month ago. 

Tough. 

I just now feel like I'm starting to climb out of the hole. Sometime this coming week, I'll get kicked back into the hole with a 3 day round of chemo for CAR-T. Hopefully the last cheno I'll ever have to experience again in this lifetime. 2 more rounds of dry heaves this morning to top it off. Hopefully, no more today. 

Please pray that CAR-T would be effective and successful. 

Grace be upon you all today. 

Aug 1: At home - yea!

 Tough ten days to get to here. Was all about the immune system recovery. An IV Antibody doesn't replace what the body does in the immune system. 

What are the types of white blood cells?

There are five types of white blood cells:

• Neutrophils: Help protect your body from infections by killing bacteria, fungi and foreign debris.
• Lymphocytes: Consist of T cells, natural killer cells and B cells to protect against viral infections and produce proteins to help you fight infection (antibodies).
• Eosinophils: Identify and destroy parasites, cancer cells and assists basophils with your allergic response.
• Basophils: Produce an allergic response like coughing, sneezing or a runny nose.
• Monocytes: Defend against infection by cleaning up damaged cells.++

The last 12" is the toughest and most critical for "going" comfort. When my white cells jumped up to half normal, I started healing that last part of the GI Tract. 

The GI tract is lined by various cell types, primarily epithelial cells, which play crucial roles in absorption and secretion. Key cell types include:

• Enterocytes: Predominant in the small intestine, these cells are specialized for nutrient absorption and have microvilli for increased surface area. 

  2
• Goblet cells: These mucous cells secrete mucus to protect the GI tract and trap pathogens. 

  2
• Paneth cells: Located in the ileum, these cells are involved in immune regulation and inflammation. 

  2
• Enteroendocrine cells: These cells secrete hormones like serotonin and gastrin, regulating gut motility and secretion. 

  2
• Tuft cells: These cells secrete mucus and are part of the immune response against pathogens. 

  2

  
  These cells work together to form a protective barrier that allows nutrient absorption while preventing harmful substances from entering the body. 

Blessings upon you all today. He loves you. He died for you. 

Jul 20 - A Very Hard Journey

 This journey, it's hard. Very hard. 

Constantly tied to an IV pole. Cycles of pain from 4 to 9, living a lot in the 7 and 8 zone. Asking God for healing and relief, Body functions not working used to having to manage Constipation and even at the best, still very painful movements. Living in the confusion of pain meds that  ,   clouds you're thinking makes it hard to have cohesive thoughts.

Living an exposed life, No privacy no modesty. Wanting to just be kind of normal again,

Really gives me pause for thought. Thinking about Martyrs in Nigeria and other places today and what they go through standing for their faith. I'm not standing for my faith. I'm just enduring pain. They face tough choices,

Blessings to you today.

Jul 9: The Dark Nights

 It has been a dark night of the soul this week.

My mouth pain (a sore at the base of my tongue) and "exit" pain at the other end of my GI tract has 3 and a 9.5 on the 10-point pain scale. The pain is grinding. Started losing my hair on Monday. My whole face is basically almost like a bad sunburn. Sleep at best has been fretful, even with Oxycodone. 

How do I deal with this pain? I see no end in sight. 

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18

... not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. Romans 8:23

Jesus is there with me. He suffered as man suffered, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Gentle and lowly is He who loves us and shows us mercy & grace wrapped up in His complete love. 

I hurt, but do not lose hope.

His grace be upon you all today, for He is God!

Gary

June 30: A Boost and the Warburg View

Today should be my go home day. They are planning to give me a stem cell donor boost of my cells that were held back from the original transplant. Hopefully, no complications or side effects. I didn't have any the first time. 

My "new" Metabolic Approach to Leukemia. There are 2 overarching views of cancer. Mutagenic (genetic problem) and Metabolic (energy pathways). I believe it's probably a mix of both. The metabolic view is you can "starve" cancer. 

• Regular, intermittent fasting
• Keto. I don't think long-term ketogenesis is in my future. It's such an extreme, but I can get closer. 
• No Sugar, glucose, No simple carbs
• No alcohol
• Starve it, don’t feed it.
• Some is better than none. NO all or nothing thinking.
• Alkaline “stasis”
• Warburg view

Foods to REDUCE

• sugary foods: soda, fruit juice, smoothies, cake, ice cream, candy, etc.
• grains or starches: wheat-based products, rice, pasta, cereal, etc.
• fruit: all fruit, except small portions of berries like strawberries
• beans or legumes: peas, kidney beans, lentils, chickpeas, etc.
• root vegetables and tubers: potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, parsnips, etc.
• alcohol: beer, wine, liquor, mixed drinks
• low fat or diet products: low fat mayonnaise, salad dressings, and condiments
• Sweet condiments or sauces: barbecue sauce, honey mustard, teriyaki sauce, ketchup, etc.
• unhealthy fats: processed vegetable oils, mayonnaise, etc.
• sugar-free diet foods: sugar-free candies, syrups, puddings, sweeteners, desserts, etc

God is my grace. Jesus is my firm foundation. He calls me to be in His presence, at peace, without shame. I am His, and He is mine.