Jul 20 - A Very Hard Journey

 This journey, it's hard. Very hard. 

Constantly tied to an IV pole. Cycles of pain from 4 to 9, living a lot in the 7 and 8 zone. Asking God for healing and relief, Body functions not working used to having to manage Constipation and even at the best, still very painful movements. Living in the confusion of pain meds that  ,   clouds you're thinking makes it hard to have cohesive thoughts.

Living an exposed life, No privacy no modesty. Wanting to just be kind of normal again,

Really gives me pause for thought. Thinking about Martyrs in Nigeria and other places today and what they go through standing for their faith. I'm not standing for my faith. I'm just enduring pain. They face tough choices,

Blessings to you today.

Jul 9: The Dark Nights

 It has been a dark night of the soul this week.

My mouth pain (a sore at the base of my tongue) and "exit" pain at the other end of my GI tract has 3 and a 9.5 on the 10-point pain scale. The pain is grinding. Started losing my hair on Monday. My whole face is basically almost like a bad sunburn. Sleep at best has been fretful, even with Oxycodone. 

How do I deal with this pain? I see no end in sight. 

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18

... not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. Romans 8:23

Jesus is there with me. He suffered as man suffered, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Gentle and lowly is He who loves us and shows us mercy & grace wrapped up in His complete love. 

I hurt, but do not lose hope.

His grace be upon you all today, for He is God!

Gary